You don't know how I feel.

I hate it when people tell me how I should feel or what they think I'm feeling or not feeling. Just because I'm capable doesn't mean I will. It's unfair for you to tell me that because I'm not in your predicament that I'm supposed to be filled with energy and eagerness to do all of the things that you are unable to.

One of the things I cannot stand is when people open their mouths and preach about matters in which they know nothing. It's one thing to have an opinion, but when you openly attack someone or something without listening to any other sides you make yourself look like a fool. Swallow your pride, close your lips and listen. I think the reason I appeal to people and become one of their closest friends is because I actually take the time to sit and listen to them. I'm naturally timid and more introverted so listening comes easliy to me. Sometimes people just need you to be there and listen, wait before you start throwing advice or judging them and hear them out. They appreciate it and you grow from it too. Be like the shy girl and just shut up and listen for once.

Untitled Poem #1

Alright here goes my first poem I've ever made public... still, no one will see it but it's still a big deal to me. I wrote this, like many of my other poems, about a very trying relationship that ended many times and was always on the rocks. I was listening to a lot of music by Common and he just kept it so real I was really inspired by him and his lyrics. He doesn't receive the recognition he deserves.

7/28/09
Man I wanna be tight wit Common cuz he keeps it so real, I'm tired of all the fake the phony n wit this shit I gotta deal. I can't erase the memories or replace what I feel. I kno u hate my past and that it affects us now, but if u really cared u'd let it go somehow. I'm tired of the drama, of the day-to-day, I demand some stability now... I wanna kno u'll stay. But since you can't give me that I think it’s time to quit, cuz I'd rather be alone than wit a man who can't commit.

Why? Cuz life's not fair. Period.

We all ask why? Why do bad things happen to good people? Why do I always come up short? How could this happen? Why me? Why this, why that, why why why??? There isn't really a reason why. Nothing that could comfort someone in the worst of times. The same reason why parents abandon their children, why people die, why loved ones make us cry, why my best friend is no stranger to the hospital and my sister is mourning the loss of her unborn. Why we're all selfish and put ourselves before what really matters, why we can sit and gripe about relationships when there is so much more going on around us. We ask why? Well, because that's life... and life just isn't fair. Good people suffer, bad people win, it's just the way of the world. We can't put all the blame on any one person or any one thing. Pain strikes and it doesn't avoid you cuz you've already been hurt before. What do I say to comfort those around me? Do I say it's all gonna be alright? Do I tell them that their rainbow is right around the corner? They don't wanna hear that. And you Never tell them that you know just how they feel, that you completely understand... cuz you don't. So what do I say? Why them? Why do bad things happen? Cuz life's not fair. Period.

Relationships

There's one thing I wish that everyone understood about relationships. They're not always butterflies and rainbows, perfect happy warm feelings and happily ever afters. They're work. People have it in their minds that its supposed to be so easy, that it just flows and maybe there might be rough patches but overall its perfect. Well relationships aren't perfect just like no one is perfect. How can imperfect components add up perfectly? Everyone used to ask me how I lasted in relationships so long... didn't I get bored and how did we make it work. We toughed it out that's how. We fought through the hard times to make it back to the better days. What people need to understand is that when you really truely love someone you fight for that person.
Love doesn't always make sense, so you get over you're logical conclusions and ur irrational insecurities and you fight for love. You're not supposed to just give up and quit when things get hard. Rough times test the relationship and when you simply throw in the towel you say that you're not in it for the long run. You're only around for when things are fun and easy. Relationships get hard, sometimes they even get pitch black but if it means enough to you, you stick around and tough it out because you know the good times are worth it, the person you love is worth it.

The best explanation of Love I know is from the Bible:
1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails..."