Saturday, September 5, 2009
You could call it a bad day...
4 1/2 years? Man that ain't nothin. Sept 4 years of tears and maybe 6 months of frontin. 5 years of lies and when its all pushed aside there's nothing. Maybe it's just not for me cuz it's obviously not meant to be... I'm so tired of being let down it's lyk I give my all just to hit the ground... again and again I taste the concrete, it's so familiar to me it almost tastes sweet. It's lyk I can't go a day without confronting my failures so everytime I'm up high I jus gotta dive and taste the sweet cement, yet again. The fragrance must float up and take hold of me cuz the slightest bit of happiness I can't hardly see, & then it's back to the ground again tryna raise up & take flight again. I refuse to be a loser I jus wanna win, y can't I have somethin, lyk even a friend. I feel lyk those around me only stay if they benefit, & I have nothin to give so eventually they all quit... I jus want somethin Real, somethin tangable I can feel, I jus wanna be happy, man y's it so hard? I can't even love right cuz my heart is so scar'd. But that's life I guess all this pain & all this stress. Take it day by day n for everything else... pray.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
You don't know how I feel.
I hate it when people tell me how I should feel or what they think I'm feeling or not feeling. Just because I'm capable doesn't mean I will. It's unfair for you to tell me that because I'm not in your predicament that I'm supposed to be filled with energy and eagerness to do all of the things that you are unable to.
One of the things I cannot stand is when people open their mouths and preach about matters in which they know nothing. It's one thing to have an opinion, but when you openly attack someone or something without listening to any other sides you make yourself look like a fool. Swallow your pride, close your lips and listen. I think the reason I appeal to people and become one of their closest friends is because I actually take the time to sit and listen to them. I'm naturally timid and more introverted so listening comes easliy to me. Sometimes people just need you to be there and listen, wait before you start throwing advice or judging them and hear them out. They appreciate it and you grow from it too. Be like the shy girl and just shut up and listen for once.
One of the things I cannot stand is when people open their mouths and preach about matters in which they know nothing. It's one thing to have an opinion, but when you openly attack someone or something without listening to any other sides you make yourself look like a fool. Swallow your pride, close your lips and listen. I think the reason I appeal to people and become one of their closest friends is because I actually take the time to sit and listen to them. I'm naturally timid and more introverted so listening comes easliy to me. Sometimes people just need you to be there and listen, wait before you start throwing advice or judging them and hear them out. They appreciate it and you grow from it too. Be like the shy girl and just shut up and listen for once.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Untitled Poem #1
Alright here goes my first poem I've ever made public... still, no one will see it but it's still a big deal to me. I wrote this, like many of my other poems, about a very trying relationship that ended many times and was always on the rocks. I was listening to a lot of music by Common and he just kept it so real I was really inspired by him and his lyrics. He doesn't receive the recognition he deserves.
7/28/09
Man I wanna be tight wit Common cuz he keeps it so real, I'm tired of all the fake the phony n wit this shit I gotta deal. I can't erase the memories or replace what I feel. I kno u hate my past and that it affects us now, but if u really cared u'd let it go somehow. I'm tired of the drama, of the day-to-day, I demand some stability now... I wanna kno u'll stay. But since you can't give me that I think it’s time to quit, cuz I'd rather be alone than wit a man who can't commit.
7/28/09
Man I wanna be tight wit Common cuz he keeps it so real, I'm tired of all the fake the phony n wit this shit I gotta deal. I can't erase the memories or replace what I feel. I kno u hate my past and that it affects us now, but if u really cared u'd let it go somehow. I'm tired of the drama, of the day-to-day, I demand some stability now... I wanna kno u'll stay. But since you can't give me that I think it’s time to quit, cuz I'd rather be alone than wit a man who can't commit.
Why? Cuz life's not fair. Period.
We all ask why? Why do bad things happen to good people? Why do I always come up short? How could this happen? Why me? Why this, why that, why why why??? There isn't really a reason why. Nothing that could comfort someone in the worst of times. The same reason why parents abandon their children, why people die, why loved ones make us cry, why my best friend is no stranger to the hospital and my sister is mourning the loss of her unborn. Why we're all selfish and put ourselves before what really matters, why we can sit and gripe about relationships when there is so much more going on around us. We ask why? Well, because that's life... and life just isn't fair. Good people suffer, bad people win, it's just the way of the world. We can't put all the blame on any one person or any one thing. Pain strikes and it doesn't avoid you cuz you've already been hurt before. What do I say to comfort those around me? Do I say it's all gonna be alright? Do I tell them that their rainbow is right around the corner? They don't wanna hear that. And you Never tell them that you know just how they feel, that you completely understand... cuz you don't. So what do I say? Why them? Why do bad things happen? Cuz life's not fair. Period.
Relationships
There's one thing I wish that everyone understood about relationships. They're not always butterflies and rainbows, perfect happy warm feelings and happily ever afters. They're work. People have it in their minds that its supposed to be so easy, that it just flows and maybe there might be rough patches but overall its perfect. Well relationships aren't perfect just like no one is perfect. How can imperfect components add up perfectly? Everyone used to ask me how I lasted in relationships so long... didn't I get bored and how did we make it work. We toughed it out that's how. We fought through the hard times to make it back to the better days. What people need to understand is that when you really truely love someone you fight for that person.
Love doesn't always make sense, so you get over you're logical conclusions and ur irrational insecurities and you fight for love. You're not supposed to just give up and quit when things get hard. Rough times test the relationship and when you simply throw in the towel you say that you're not in it for the long run. You're only around for when things are fun and easy. Relationships get hard, sometimes they even get pitch black but if it means enough to you, you stick around and tough it out because you know the good times are worth it, the person you love is worth it.
The best explanation of Love I know is from the Bible:
1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails..."
Love doesn't always make sense, so you get over you're logical conclusions and ur irrational insecurities and you fight for love. You're not supposed to just give up and quit when things get hard. Rough times test the relationship and when you simply throw in the towel you say that you're not in it for the long run. You're only around for when things are fun and easy. Relationships get hard, sometimes they even get pitch black but if it means enough to you, you stick around and tough it out because you know the good times are worth it, the person you love is worth it.
The best explanation of Love I know is from the Bible:
1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails..."
Monday, April 27, 2009
Reaction #10:
What evidence does LBJ offer as proof of the widening economic gap between black and white Americans? How does he explain this gap? How are the sentiments he expressed represented in this cartoon:
Cartoon by Barry Deutsch
In 1965 Lyndon B. Johnson gave a speech at Howard University, an all black collage, which stressed the need for achieving true freedom in the black community. In his commencement address Johnson remarked that the definition of poverty differed in relation to black Americans and white Americans; he directly stated that, “Negro poverty is not white poverty”. To demonstrate this Johnson presented some troubling statistics of the decline in income and increase in unemployment of Negroes as compared to white Americans. One of the most upsetting pieces of information he presented was the fact that thirty-five years ago the rate of unemployment for Negroes and whites was about the same but in 1965 the Negro rate was twice as high. Johnson referred to the black community as “another nation” and said that “despite the court orders and laws, despite the legislative victories and the speeches, for them the walls are rising and the gulf is widening”.
LBJ credited the cause of Negro poverty to many sources, including the long years of slavery, past injustices, and the continuing struggle with discrimination and hate. He stressed that the past brutalities served as a constant reminder of oppression for Negroes and for whites they were a constant reminder of guilt. However, Johnson also expressed his hope and belief that the problems they were facing could be dealt with and were possible to overcome. And with the civil rights movement and Johnson’s Great Society, things started getting better for the black community. The gaps in education, income, and access to skilled employment narrowed and although there were areas yet to be confronted, there were considerable gains.
The Barry Deutsch cartoon depicting the white child climbing up and stomping all over the black child to achieve a higher platform represents the black man’s struggle beneath the white man. From the days of slavery blacks were used for the advancement of whites. Even as blacks attained their freedom they were still trodden over and left ‘looking up’ to the white class. And even when some level of equality and recognition was reached, the whites still would not help the lesser blacks. In response to the black child’s request for help the white child remarks, “if I got up here myself, why can’t you?” This apparently ironic statement symbolizes white ignorance- or more so their unfair expectations and ‘forgetful tendencies’ of how they had achieved their elevated statuses in the first place. In comparison to LBJ’s declaration that the gap was ever widening, the cartoon first depicts the two children at the same level. Throughout the scenes the white child is using the black child (who at first had restraints) to rise up. At the end the white child is looking down and sort of mocking the black child for not working hard enough to achieve the same goals. This relates directly to society and what Johnson was saying about the constant reminders of oppression still lingering and the ever widening gap. How can the black child make gains without being given a chance? With no assistance he is forced to remain at the bottom, not much better off than he was from the beginning.
Cartoon by Barry Deutsch
In 1965 Lyndon B. Johnson gave a speech at Howard University, an all black collage, which stressed the need for achieving true freedom in the black community. In his commencement address Johnson remarked that the definition of poverty differed in relation to black Americans and white Americans; he directly stated that, “Negro poverty is not white poverty”. To demonstrate this Johnson presented some troubling statistics of the decline in income and increase in unemployment of Negroes as compared to white Americans. One of the most upsetting pieces of information he presented was the fact that thirty-five years ago the rate of unemployment for Negroes and whites was about the same but in 1965 the Negro rate was twice as high. Johnson referred to the black community as “another nation” and said that “despite the court orders and laws, despite the legislative victories and the speeches, for them the walls are rising and the gulf is widening”.
LBJ credited the cause of Negro poverty to many sources, including the long years of slavery, past injustices, and the continuing struggle with discrimination and hate. He stressed that the past brutalities served as a constant reminder of oppression for Negroes and for whites they were a constant reminder of guilt. However, Johnson also expressed his hope and belief that the problems they were facing could be dealt with and were possible to overcome. And with the civil rights movement and Johnson’s Great Society, things started getting better for the black community. The gaps in education, income, and access to skilled employment narrowed and although there were areas yet to be confronted, there were considerable gains.
The Barry Deutsch cartoon depicting the white child climbing up and stomping all over the black child to achieve a higher platform represents the black man’s struggle beneath the white man. From the days of slavery blacks were used for the advancement of whites. Even as blacks attained their freedom they were still trodden over and left ‘looking up’ to the white class. And even when some level of equality and recognition was reached, the whites still would not help the lesser blacks. In response to the black child’s request for help the white child remarks, “if I got up here myself, why can’t you?” This apparently ironic statement symbolizes white ignorance- or more so their unfair expectations and ‘forgetful tendencies’ of how they had achieved their elevated statuses in the first place. In comparison to LBJ’s declaration that the gap was ever widening, the cartoon first depicts the two children at the same level. Throughout the scenes the white child is using the black child (who at first had restraints) to rise up. At the end the white child is looking down and sort of mocking the black child for not working hard enough to achieve the same goals. This relates directly to society and what Johnson was saying about the constant reminders of oppression still lingering and the ever widening gap. How can the black child make gains without being given a chance? With no assistance he is forced to remain at the bottom, not much better off than he was from the beginning.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Reaction #9:
Cheerful Robots
According to C. Wright Mills, Americans during the 1950s were Cheerful Robots. Using his excerpt, what you've read in the text, and heard in class, why is that description fitting (don't just repeat or rephrase what's in the Mills article).
Americans during this time were achieving their dreams of home ownership with the shift from cities to suburbs and enjoying the affordability and availability of home appliances, cars, and televisions. People began moving into identical suburban homes and stocked them with all sorts of new amenities. The new Nuclear family portrayed wives as happy homemakers, expected to stay home and take care of the house and children, while husbands were the breadwinners. The title Cheerful Robot was a fitting description for this new concept of the ideal American family and their prized American freedoms. Mills searched for a new definition of freedom, one where it was not mass conformity but a renewed independence and sense of self. He believed in a freedom that was not the ability to do as you pleased but to formulate your own options and make decisions for yourself. He depicted these Nuclear families as robots going through motions programmed into them with no thoughts or ideas of their own. They were not choosing to improve their lives with this new found “freedom”, they were being brainwashed by companies telling them they needed this or that to fit into the truly American standard.
There were already problems existing with this picture perfect American family. Wives were often depressed and sought professional help for their discomfort. Also women who had been working during the war wanted to continue working and earning fair wages. They had tasted independence and didn’t want to give it up so hastily. Women who voiced these desires or spoke of their unhappiness at home doing menial tasks were seen as silly or “faulty”. So these ideal American families weren’t all perfect or content. I think that women especially had a hard time conforming to the housewife mold because of their thirst to venture out into the business world and have a life outside the home. So there were already malfunctions within the Cheerful Robots and to Mills this was probably a positive thing. He encouraged thinking outside the box and coming to your own conclusions.
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